


Dress Rehearsal

by misura



Category: Quacks (TV)
Genre: Failboats, Multi, Pre-Threesome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-12
Updated: 2017-12-12
Packaged: 2019-02-16 00:45:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13042986
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misura/pseuds/misura
Summary: Robert goes to some extremes to win back Caroline.





	Dress Rehearsal

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Tibby](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tibby/gifts).



William choked on his tea. "You want me to - "

"Well, I can hardly pause in the middle of things to do a bit of reading, can I?" Robert pointed out - quite reasonably, if he said so himself. "A fine picture that would make."

William opened his mouth and closed it again. Like a fish, if a fish had possessed hair and non-goggly eyes. "Am I to deduce that you will be expecting me to offer you actual instructions while you - "

"Advice," Robert corrected. "Counsel. Give voice to the mysterious goings-on in the female mind."

William carefully put down his saucer. "Do you not think that perhaps a woman, such as Caroline, for example, would be better suited to give voice to such matters?"

Robert scoffed. "Don't be ridiculous. Besides, only consider: if Caroline were the least inclined to voice her desires, would she not have done so already? As she has not, I can only conclude that like all those of her sex, she lacks the ability to express herself the way a gentleman would. Thus, my need for you to act as an interpreter. A guide, if you will. A boon companion."

"I ... see," William said, his tone making it clear that he did not.

"This is important to me, William. I had hoped for your able assistance."

"And I am honored - deeply honored by your trust," said William. "It is just - well, what goes on between husband and wife should be private, do you not think? I am reluctant to intrude. To watch."

"God's sake, man, I'm talking about lending moral support to a friend in need, not voyeurism. Not that there's anything wrong with voyeurism, if that happens to be your thing," Robert added quickly. John, now, John was a fairly well-known quantity, but Robert's notion of William's tastes in matters of the flesh were nebulous at best.

"It happens not to be my thing," William said, with what he probably imagined to be great dignity. "Hence, my reluctance."

Robert shrugged. "So you'll wear a blindfold. There. Problem solved. Any other objections?"

William did his fish imitation again. "Have you - have you discussed this with Caroline?"

"Oh yes," Robert lied. "She loves the idea - absolutely loves it. I was surprised," he added, "but then, every now and then, she really can be quite rational. For a woman, I mean." Best not to add that he felt William was acting anything but, he judged. "So you'll do it then?"

William hesitated. "If Caroline truly wants me there - "

" _I_ want you there," Robert said.

"Not ... naked?" William asked.

Robert's turn to waver. It seemed somewhat indecent - indecorous, surely, to invite a naked man into one's bedroom. On the other hand, given that both he and Caroline would be in a state of undress, it might feel awkward to know oneself under observation by someone fully clothed.

"Obviously," he said. William looked relieved. "Naked," Robert finished.

William's face fell. "Surely you must see how inappropriate that would be."

"Less appropriate than my wife having an affair?" Robert asked. "I think not. Besides, she's attended plenty of anatomy classes and what not. Yours will hardly be the first nude male body she will see. Mind, it might be the first one that's still alive, but even so. The difference is negligible."

"Oh," said William, weakly.

"Naturally, if I have any say in it at all, yours will also be the last, but let us not count our chicks before they are hatched. If she _must_ play at becoming a doctor, I suppose it may be some small measure of comfort that at least she will restrict herself to treating females."

"Yes, I - " William swallowed. "I see how you might think so."

"Good." Robert offered him the sort of smile he usually offered his more timid patients. "Excellent. Would you like a drink?"

"I - I should probably keep a clear head." William coughed. "For ... later."

"Capital," Robert said. "Then, perhaps, some general pointers? Or better yet, a practice run?"

"Without - "

"Yes, of course. It would hardly be a practice run else, would it?"

 

_elsewhere, several hours later_

"Can you _believe_ it?" Caroline said.

"No, I cannot," John said, passing her the pipe. "Here. Have some more of this. It's good stuff."

Caroline sighed. "I just - I would never have expected it of him. Who would have?"

"Well, drugs make people do strange things sometimes," said John.

"You think it was drugs? They both looked so - well, not normal. Obviously. I mean, they were naked and sweaty and, you know." Caroline gestured.

"Say no more."

Caroline inhaled and shook her head. "Men."

"Fuck 'em," said John.

Caroline blinked, then looked mildly intrigued. "Could I? I mean, being a woman and all."

John waved languidly. "Oh, there are ways. Trust me. I know lots of prostitutes. There's ways."

"Hm. Perhaps you should introduce me."


End file.
